Although we cannot ensure a long, hot summer, we can do our best to make sure it’s a bloody good time. Herewith, a myriad of essential summer gadgets.
Champagne showers
What is the silly season without unwittingly showering your guests with France’s finest? This weapon of mass partying will shake things up for the better. Load it up with a magnum bottle of Champagne and let the good times roll. She’s completely harmless, available in gold, chrome or rose gold, and can work with either a diffuser or serving spout (for classier occasions).
Rodeo Time
Don’t be fooled by this benign pool toy. Just because this beast doesn’t buck and you have an azulene puddle as your safety net, to grapple on the InflataBULL’s back for an extended period is no easy feat. Don’t believe us? Just search ‘Sofia Vergara tries to ride swimming pool bull’ on YouTube — it’s one of the better things the internet has given us this year.
Stay Lit
Make like Harry Potter with this portable lantern for the modern era. Pablo’s UMA lantern has redefined the age-old accessory in fine style and with state of the art technology; the movable lamp contains a built-in speaker so that you can play your sweet sounds through what doubles as an ambient source of light. It’s the ideal accomplice for impromptu beach parties at twilight.
Sun Worshipper
Who else would have the nous to build an umbrella that moves with the sun than the Californians? ShadeCraft’s ‘Sunflower’ is an autonomous shade that does just that and so much more. Fitted with AI technology and integrated solar panels, it stores energy and analyses data in real time to ‘throw shade’ where desired, and close itself in high winds. Controlled via an app, this hyper-intelligent brolly also tracks security through built-in cameras.
Under the Sea
Why not upgrade your snorkelling experience with this advanced apparatus? Modelled off deep-sea equipment, the H2O Ninja Mask utilises reduced fogging technology and 180-degree viewing to bring you a panoramic vista of the life aquatic. Wearers are known to spend over 30 percent more time underwater exploring all that lies below.
